Sexual desire during menopause. A middle aged couple in love

During menopause, many women experience significant changes in sexual desire and vaginal health. Decreased estrogen levels often lead to reduced libido. Hormonal shifts impact neurotransmitters, affecting sexual arousal and response. Menopausal symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, and fatigue contribute to decreased interest in sexual activities. These discomforts and fluctuations hinder intimacy, affecting overall sexual satisfaction.

Vaginal dryness is another common issue in menopausal women, often exacerbating challenges with sexual desire. Estrogen maintains vaginal tissue health and lubrication. Decreased estrogen levels result in thinner, drier vaginal lining, causing discomfort during sex. Dryness leads to irritation, itching, burning, and pain during intercourse, further impacting sexual desire and satisfaction. It may also increase the risk of vaginal and urinary tract infections, further affecting sexual well-being. How do we embrace intimacy again and enhance sexual desire in menopause? Here are a few solutions.

How to Improve Sexual Desire

  1. Regular Exercise: Engaging in physical activity boosts circulation, mood, and libido.
  2. Communicate: Openly discuss desires and needs with your partner to enhance intimacy.
  3. Sensual Exploration: Focus on activities like massages, cuddling, and kissing to increase arousal.
  4. Stress Management: Reduce stress with techniques like meditation or yoga to positively affect libido.
  5. Prioritize Sleep: Ensure adequate rest for improved energy levels and sexual desire.
  6. Use it or lose it! Sexual activity can be good for your vagina health. It increases blood flows, helps with lubrication and strengthens vaginal tissues.
  7. Hormone Therapy: Discuss hormone replacement therapy (HRT) options with a healthcare professional to address hormonal imbalances affecting libido.
  8. Use Lubricants: Alleviate discomfort from vaginal dryness with lubricants or vaginal moisturizers to enhance sexual experiences. If it hurts is it not going to happen, so make sure you take this point very seriously.
  9. Counseling: Seek therapy or counseling to address emotional or relationship issues impacting sexual desire.
  10. Sexual Wellness Products: Experiment with products like vibrators or arousal gels to enhance arousal and pleasure. Even Amazon sells a long list of Intimacy enhancers.

What the Experts Say About Sex and Intimacy

In this first video, Professor Susan R Devis, the director of women’s health research program of Monash University in Australia, explains everything you need to know about sex in menopause.


This second video of Emy Color, an Intimacy Coach, discusses intimacy and communication issues and how to improve sexual desire. The video is very informative, creative and is able to address a difficult topic in a very entertaining way. She also has a book: The Huddle How to Score in Sex and Love


This third video features Dr Esther Perel, a psychotherapist who focuses on attraction in couples. Her book Mating in Captivity examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

Simplified Summary

During menopause, some women find that they're not as interested in sex, and their vagina might feel dry and uncomfortable during sex. This happens because their body is making less estrogen, which keeps things moist and comfy down there. Other menopause symptoms like hot flashes and feeling tired can also make sex less appealing. But there are things that can help make things better. Doing regular exercise, talking openly with your partner, and finding ways to relax can make a big difference. Getting enough sleep and using special lubes during sex can also help. If you're having a hard time, talking to a therapist or trying out special products might be worth a shot.

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